So. I'm having one of /those/ days.
You know exactly what I'm talking about -- deep thought about shit that is really damn confusing.
So I felt like writing this. :I So here you go.
Okay, so we're born because our parents managed to get through life successfully and met and decided to hook up and have a kid.
Great. Okay, so what now? What do I do?
So far, life is school, trying to figure out who the fuck I'm supposed to be, and /why/ I should be that.
And the latter is really hard. Like really. This portion of my life (teen-young adult) will be the hardest, and I imagine after that it should be all butterflies and rainbows with the fact I know who I am.
And really, I want that. I wanna know who I'll turn out to be. But I have a long ways to go...
I'll then discover what I should do in life along with that.
But right now, it's all up in the air, so moving on to another related thing.
My life is really boring, how am I supposed to build character when I have no chance to do anything with myself? And that makes me think of anothetr thing...
This is my young life. The ONLY chance EVER I'll get to be this way, I hate to say it, but, yolo... it's really true. I have so many fantasies of what I wanna do in life, but /know/ it will never happen or ever be able to. I want to be so many different things, and actually experience all of them, not just think of it. But I'm stuck here. And that's when it hit me I will NEVER get to be those things. This is my one fucking shot, and I'm wasting it! Unless something really fuckin' incredible happens soon, I'll not be changing anytime soon.
I actually got really upset to the point I cried. What the fuck am I even doing?! I have no goals, I'm a hopeless dreamer and nobody with a pretty good life but no fucking interesting occurrences at all.
*Sigh* the joys of being a teenager :I
I have to get my head together and decide what I want (I believe life is literally living to live and be happy with yourself, an unhappy soul is a soul who never got to really live) because in a few years, I'll be an adult. Just...
jesus fucking christ... >.<